My Fucked up mentality...is well....fucked up

I sometimes wonder why I think the way I do. My thoughts are generally biased. When I meet people, instead of looking for the good in them (as I always used to do) my first instinct is to purposefully try to find something wrong with them, something I can use as an excuse not to trust them. Its silly really isn't it?....if you look hard enough you can find some reason to distrust everyone. And it seems that this is what Im getting closer and closer to doing. Because if the only person you trust is yourself then at least your never going to be let down by "loved ones". I know its not the best method to go at it in life alone but to me seems to be the safest. I have no guts to do what I should, I know what I should be doing in life and what I should be asking ....but to keep myself safe...I refrain from daring to do anything. At the moment I can't help but have so much on my mind.,.its driving me mental...I have exams, lectures and living my life to deal with, let alone my worries about the people in my life......so next time you ask If Im ok....Im going to just say yes. Because Im pretty sure no-one wants to hear this shit.